Over a dozen years ago, I started getting consistent with things that I knew would be helpful in how I walked the world. As someone who tends more toward the anxious side of the spectrum, there have been many tools that have added value over the years. The 10 that gave me the best bang for my buck are here for you:
- Morning Meditation daily. Don’t worry – I’m not talking about hours in silence on a cushion! I’m talking about using an app and replacing one hit of the snooze button with a 10 minute guided meditation, all before getting out of bed. Meditation and I didn’t have a consistent relationship until I tried this method. Over 5 years later, it’s working and I can see the benefits.
- Regular Gratitude. Yes, I used to roll my eyes at this. Yes, everyone says it. Yes, there are books and trends and journals…and there’s a reason for all of it. Gratitude works. I’m not perfect, but more nights than not, I try to think of some things to be grateful for right before I fall asleep. I find having grateful thoughts in my brain before sleep really mitigates the spinning thoughts.
- Inspirational Reading in the AM. This is a new one that I added this year, thanks to a great book, The Pivot Year. It’s written to read a short page every day, and I’m already thinking about what I’ll do next year, when I finish this 365 day book!
- Embracing Duality. Both things are true. At this point, my friends all laugh and repeat this phrase because I say it so often! There’s freedom and wisdom in embracing duality. We all feel many things at the same time, but our brains try to limit us. Feel excited for vacation and stressed about work and sad about politics and happy to see your family? All of that gets to coexist at the same time.
- Reframing. I still generally feel nervous before a speaking engagement, training class, or new client. There was a time when if that feeling got too strong, I might not do the new/scary thing. That fear would become a brick wall. When I reframed that to making the fear a speedbump instead, everything changed. I feel those nerves because I care. It’s part of my process. I want to do great work, and feeling a little nervous ahead of time comes from that place. Boom! Instant reframe that has helped me do lots of new things!
- Looking for the Good. Things are hard. Adulting is difficult. Leadership is a challenge. Our brains are great at finding the negatives, so we need to consciously look for the good. Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Phone a friend. Watch something light or funny or heartwarming. Pet an animal. Help a stranger. Yes, we have to make an effort to do these things, but the payoff is worth it.
- Assuming Positive Intent. My favorite/the hardest place to apply this one is traffic! Someone cut you off? Maybe they’re rushing to a hospital. Someone ran a stop sign and you had to swerve to miss them? Maybe they’re distracted by something really challenging in their life. It’s not about being right – this is the most important part. It’s simply about choosing the thought that creates a better lived experience for you. Going around all day angry about some jerk driver, doesn’t exactly support a positive lived experience. Choose your energy wisely. Make it a game – what’s the most generous thought you can come up in a frustrating situation?
- Allowing Extra Time. Serious game changer. I used to sleep to the last possible second and then felt like I was rushing all day. These days, I’m waking up at least 2 hours before my first appointment. I’m allowing 2 hours for a 1:45 drive. A few extra minutes is such an incredible gift. To allow your nervous system the spaciousness, instead of the constriction of rushing, creates such ease.
- Pausing. Never act when you’re triggered. Full stop. No good ever comes of it. Without pausing, we say things we regret. We type things we can’t take back. We treat people in ways we later feel badly about. Know what it feels like when you’re triggered, then PAUSE.
- Learning my Body’s Signs. This is how you learn to pause! Do your shoulders get tight? Does your heart start racing? Does your stomach churn? Whatever ways your body shows & tells you that it’s triggered, learn to listen.
